Embrace Hope...Embrace an Awakened Life on Earth (originally shared on Dec 14, 2020)

“Hope is being able to see that there is light despite all the darkness.”

- Desmond Tutu

“We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope.”

- Martin Luther King Jr.

---

In Mahayana Buddhism, a bodhisattva is a person well on their way toward enlightenment who chooses to use their wisdom to help other human beings liberate themselves. On the threshold of an enlightened life, such a wisdom-being refuses to cross over, committing to wait till all beings can come and join. What moves me is the implicit truth that a bodhisattva knows that all will never come. And so, in essence, he or she embraces an awakened life on Earth. Not shaping or purifying others, but wandering authentically among the living.

- Mark Nepo

---

Dear Wise Women,

Last week, we considered the possibility of joy being something quite different than most of us have been taught. Rather than joy being an emotion akin to happiness, we contemplated the idea that joy is a relationship we have with our emotional body in which we allow ourselves to feel all emotional states moving through our field of experience - a conscious communion with the vibrational in which we feel the elation of being alive. As we have learned and continue to learn, we access this communion when we are willing to listen beyond the voice in our head and tune into the energy (or the music) of the present moment. When we have the courage and the will to do so, we reveal a world of wonder and awe.

I believe that, like Joy, the real meaning of Hope has become lost for many. So much so that many spiritual teachers including Pema Chodron suggest that we abandon hope. She is not suggesting we enter despair, quite the opposite, in fact.

If we're willing to give up hope that insecurity and pain can be exterminated then we can have the courage to relax with the groundlessness of our situation. This is the first step on the path... ...if we totally experience hopelessness, giving up all hope of alternatives to the present moment, we can have a joyful relationship with our lives, an honest, direct relationship, one that no longer ignores the reality of impermanence and death.

- Pema Chodron, “When Things Fall Apart”

---

What Pema is suggesting is that we give up hope as we have come to know it, which is a wish for something other than the present moment. The invitation is to give up on this kind of hope …and embrace hope (or dream) as a state of being and not a place to arrive at.

We get so caught up in whether the dream comes true or falls away, when its purpose is to charge the circuit of life between us. I now think of dreams differently: not as individual aspirations, but more as transpersonal conduits of grace; filaments of soul that helps us find each other and illumine the world. When we can feel a dream moving through - and drop its name, even more, drop its game - it expands us with a moment of aliveness that enlights us, lightens us from within.

- Mark Nepo

---

“Hope is definitely not the same thing as optimism. It is not the conviction that something will turn out well, but the certainty that something makes sense, regardless of how it turns out.”

- Vaclav Havel, former President of Czechoslovakia and the Czech Rebublic

---

The River Beneath The River (Original post Oct 3, 2021)

“Eternal Waters” , by Autumn Skye www.autumnskyeart.com

With the world spinning and the stomach heaving it’s easy to overlook the Shining Self. Yet it’s right here, whirling like a dervish, inviting me to release, relax, weep, disappear altogether into its subterranean womb – into Rio Abajo Rio – the great river beneath the river of the world.

- Miriam Louisa, “This Unlit Light”

---

Dear Wise Women,

We return once again to the river.

As before, the inspiration for this week’s treasure trove arrived in a series of messages and experiences both direct and indirect. Last Sunday, I opened an email from Richard Rohr entitled “Money and Soul” and was captivated by his words:

“ I’m convinced that money and soul are united on a deep level. This truth is reappearing from the deep stream of wisdom traditions after centuries of almost total splitting and separation at the conscious level. There is un río profundo, a river beneath the river. The upper stream has always been money in all its forms, beginning with trading and bartering. The deeper stream is the spiritual meaning such exchanges must have for our lives. Money and soul have never been separate in our unconscious because they are both about human exchanges, and therefore, divine exchange, too.”

Richard Rohr’s words activated something in me and and I saw an image and felt a sensation of two rivers. Words cannot fully describe what I see and feel, but I can say that the one on top is shallow, choppy and turbulent and the one beneath is deep, calm, peaceful and…surprisingly… fierce so fierce that she catches my breath, this river, she is resolute, strong, and unwavering.

Could this imagery be yet another way to access, in every moment, the vital life force of our creator?

Is it our awareness alone that allows the river beneath to flow into the river above?

Could this be the river beneath be the river the Hopi Elder’s asked us to push off into?
(Recall our deep exploration of Hopi Elder’s Prophecy in our previous session: “There is a river flowing now very fast. It is so great and swift that there are those who will be afraid. They will try to hold on to the shore. They will feel they are being torn apart and will suffer greatly. Know the river has its destination. The elders say we must let go of the shore, push off into the middle of the river, keep our eyes open, and our heads above the water.” View the entire prophecy here.)

These questions let me on a quest to explore this concept of “a river beneath the river” and was moved deeply to discover that “Rio Abajo Rio” is a name that Clarissa Pinkola Estes gives to describe the Wild Woman. I share with you a few passages to activate your awareness of the great river beneath it all.

May you allow your bones to marinate in the deep waters.

With love,
Patti

---

To embody the soul is to expand far beyond my personality, into the depths and the uniqueness of who I am. I am, you are, unique without being separate. Like all journeys, the unfolding of my individuation needs a foundation. I cannot expand, grow and evolve into the vastness of my spiritual nature, I cannot open to the presence of the divine, without this ground. I can make trips into these higher realms, I can climb up the ladder into the light and receive messages from on high. But I cannot embody this deeper intelligence, the boundless nature of this love, until I descend. Down into the body, into the feelings that live in the body, into the earth.

The part of us that I call soul loves this journey, and calls us to take each new step. Once we align ourselves with the evolutionary energy of the soul, it will call us relentlessly. This movement towards the truth of who we are, the truth of what life is, what reality is, is like a river that we enter. Clarissa Pinkola Estes calls it “the river beneath the river.” For a long time we live in the river on the surface of our lives, the river of survival, of false belonging, of all the contracts we agreed to, in order to belong. There is a current that runs much deeper and truer, and we can dive down and feel the pull of that. The river beneath the river moves to a different rhythm. It is not frantic, desperate, and full of noise. It flows and it is also full of stillness and presence. It is intelligent, loving and full of power.

- Shayla Wright,www.wideawakeheart.net

---

Always behind the actions of writing, painting, thinking, healing, doing, cooking, talking, smiling, making, is the river, the Río Abajo Río; the river under the river nourishes everything we make. In symbology, the great bodies of water express the place where life itself is thought to have originated. In the Hispanic Southwest, the river symbolizes the ability to live, truly live. It is greeted as the mother, La Madre Grande, La Mujer Grande, the Great Woman, whose waters not only run in the ditches and riverbeds but spill out of the very bodies of women themselves as their babies are born.

The Río Abajo Río, the river beneath the river, flows and flows into our lives. Some say the creative life is in ideas, some say it is in doing. It seems in most instances to be in a simple being. It is not virtuosity, although that is very fine in itself. It is the love of something, having so much love for something—whether a person, a word, an image, an idea, the land, or humanity—that all that can be done with the overflow is to create. It is not a matter of wanting to, not a singular act of will; one solely must. The creative force flows over the terrain of our psyches looking for the natural hollows, the arroyos, the channels that exist in us. We become its tributaries, its basins; we are its pools, ponds, streams, and sanctuaries. The wild creative force flows into whatever beds we have for it, those we are born with as well as those we dig with our own hands. We don’t have to fill them, we only have to build them.

Since the Wild Woman is Rio Abajo Rio, The river beneath the river, When she flows into us, we flow. If the aperture from her to us is blocked, we are blocked.

- Clarissa Pinkola Estes, “Women Who Run With the Wolves: Myths and Stories of the Wild Woman Archetype

---

---

At The River Clarion

I don’t know who God is exactly.
But I’ll tell you this.
I was sitting in the river named Clarion, on a water splashed stone
and all afternoon I listened to the voices of the river talking.
Whenever the water struck a stone it had something to say,
and the water itself, and even the mosses trailing under the water.
And slowly, very slowly, it became clear to me what they were saying.
Said the river I am part of holiness.
And I too, said the stone. And I too, whispered the moss beneath the water.

I’d been to the river before, a few times.
Don’t blame the river that nothing happened quickly.
You don’t hear such voices in an hour or a day.
You don’t hear them at all if selfhood has stuffed your ears.
And it’s difficult to hear anything anyway, through all the traffic, the ambition

- Mary Oliver

Holding the Rawness of Vulnerability in our Heart (Original Post March 26, 2020)

“Vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy and creativity. It is the source of hope, accountability and authenticity. If we want greater clarity in our purpose or deeper or meaningful spiritual lives, vulnerability is the path.”
- Brene Brown

---

To Hold the Rawness of Vulnerability is to “Not Resist What Is”

For the past four years I have been sharing the practice of Qigong and, more importantly, the teachings of unconditional presence. Like many of you, I began this journey as a method to still my own personal anxiety and to improve my wellness. Somewhere along the way, I felt a connection to a higher power and an absolute knowing that my primary purpose was to maintain an open portal to this connection - which I find easy to do when I’m practicing or teaching Qigong and which I find more difficult to do in my daily life. Knowing I am not alone in this challenge, I am continuously drawn to share teachings that nurture the shared aspects of our humanity and to draw up on the strength of one another to enhance our ability to courageously connect again and again and again.

And throughout this journey, I have had the niggling feeling that there is a sense of urgency to this “awakening business”. Like so many, I have felt that humanity is facing a critical threshold of evolution and a calling for a global awakening of the heart.

And now it seems as if this threshold has arrived! Today, we find ourselves living through an precedented time, an era that will go down in history as the COVID-19 pandemic.

Amongst the many things I am noticing is the outpouring of inspiration on the internet. It seems as if permission has been granted for vulnerability to be spoken of and for the message of love over fear to (finally) be unabashedly spread. It appears that the stripping away of our world “as we know it” is also stripping away the guardedness so many of us have held around our hearts.

Below is one of such message - though I don’t know of this author, her words struck a deep chord in me…

“When we truly embrace the truth that we are all going to die, that life is a profound gift and each breath is a privilege — every moment becomes infinitely precious.”
-Azrya Cohen Bequer

---

Embracing What IS

“One definition of the ego that I particularly like is “that which resists what is”. Ego struggles against reality, against the open-endedness and natural movement of life. It is very uncomfortable with vulnerability and ambiguity, with not being quite sure how to pin things down. The ego wants resolution, wants to control impermanence, wants something secure and certain to hold to. It freezes what is actually fluid, it grasps at what is in motion, it tries to escape the beautiful truth of the fully alive nature of everything.

The alternative to this struggle is to train in holding the rawness of vulnerability in our heart.

When we’re resisting or trying to escape from “what is,” there is usually some kind of physical sign - a tightening or contraction somewhere in the body. When you notice this sign of resistance, see if you can stick with the raw feeling of discomfort just for a moment, just long enough for your nervous system to start getting used to it. Through this practice we can eventually accustom our nervous system to relaxing with the truth, to relaxing with the impermanent, uncontrollable nature of things. We can slowly increase our ability to expand rather than contract, to let go rather than cling.”

-Pema Chodron, “Welcoming the Unwelcome”

---

The essence of what Pema is saying is beautifully captured by Trungpa Rinpoche’s words:

“The wisdom teachings tell us not to reject anything about ourselves and embrace all aspects as the same. Gold is the same as dust. The lotus is part of the mud.”
- Trungpa Rinpoche

---

I now remind you of a powerful and practical method for embracing vulnerability and awakening the heart:

THE PRACTICE OF TONGLEN “SENDING AND TAKING”

Tonglen practice is a Tibetan Buddhist method for overcoming our fear of suffering and for dissolving the tightness of our hearts. By having the courage to face the pain of others and breathe it in, the Tonglen practice awakens the compassion that is inherent in all of us. Tonglen is difficult to do because it reverses the usual pattern of avoiding suffering and of turning away from our pain and, especially, the pain of others. Tonglen dissolves the layers of self-protection or walls we’ve built around our hearts…it dissolves the fixation and clinging of ego. It is a deep and courageous practice of being deeply present with pain, which is the only way to dissolve it.

The practice is as follows:*

When anything is painful or undesirable, breathe it in.

In other words, don’t resist it.

You surrender to yourself, you acknowledge who you are, you honour yourself.

As unwanted feelings and emotions arise, you actually breathe them in and connect with what all humans feel.

You breathe in for yourself, in the sense that pain is a personal and real experience, but simultaneously there’s no doubt that you’re developing your kinship with all beings. If you can know it in yourself, you can know it in everyone. This practice cuts through culture, economic status, intelligence, race, religion.

Then connect with what for you is a sense of delight - connect with what for you is inspiring, opening, relieving, and relaxing. Start with your feeling of connecting, your feeling of delight, your feeling of connecting with a bigger perspective, your feeling of relief and relaxation. And breathe this out.

When you breathe it it out, you give it away, you send it out to everyone else. By doing so you awaken our connection to all beings. We awaken the collective heart.

* This particular explanation comes from pages 85-86 of Pema’s book: “Comfortable with Uncertainty, 108 Teachings on Cultivating Fearlessness and Compassion”

---

A word from Pema about her first experience with Tonglen:

“After I did Tonglen for the first time, I was amazed to see how I had been subtly using sitting meditation to try to avoid being hurt, to try to avoid depression, discouragement, or bad feelings of any kind. Unknown to myself, I had secretly hoped that if I did the practice I wouldn’t have to feel any pain anymore. When we do tonglen, we invite the pain in. Tonglen takes courage to do, and interestingly enough, it also gives us a lot of courage, because we let it penetrate our armour. It’s a practice that allows us to feel less burdened and less cramped, a practice that shows us how to live without conditions.

Negativity and resentment occur because we’re trying to cover over the soft spot of bodhichitta (the awakened heart). In fact, its because we are tender and deeply touched that we do all this shielding. It’s because we have this genuine heart of sadness to begin with that we even start shielding. In tonglen practice we become willing to begin to expose this most tender part of ourselves.”

---

“DOUBLE DOWN ON LOVE”

Inspired by one of Brene Brown’s blogs: https://brenebrown.com/blog/2019/10/09/doubling-down-on-love/ I have put together a small playlist on Spotify called Double Down On Love, I would LOVE for you to add to this playlist and see what we can create together!

Click here to hear the entire playlist and click below for individual songs!

Sleepless by Jann Arden
Crowded Table by The Highwomen
Let My Love Open the Door by Pete Townsend
Rainbow by Kacey Musgraves

---

On Grace…

“What matters, in good times as well as bad, are people and community. It has taken a terrible virus to at least remind us of this eternal truth. Surely, there is grace in that.”

- Kathleen Parker, Washington Post, March 17, 2020

---

Our Closing Meditation:

Prayer of the Lotus Nectar

Beloved Kuan Yin, help me realize the connection to myself and to Life that I need to be able to live my highest vibrational life, where I am well, replenished, joyful and connected to the endless flow of divine energy and life force in our Universe. Please bring me clear guidance about how to best cultivate chi now, how to be open to receive the Nectar of the Lotus, the life force and love of the Divine Mother, for my highest good, so be it. Om Mani Padme Hum. 

“Om Mani Padme Hum”
This is a powerful heart opening mantra.

It means ’the opening of the jewel in the lotus,’ or ‘may the heart awaken with divine compassion and may I know myself to be an awakened being of light’.  

---

The Peace Inside of Pain (abbreviated from Original post on Nov 21, 2021)

And a woman spoke, saying

Tell us of Pain.

And he said:

Your pain is the breaking of the

shell that encloses your understanding.

Even as the stone of the fruit must break,

that its heart may stand in the sun,

So must you know pain.

- Kahlil Gibran

“ All of western medicine is built on getting rid of pain, which is not the same as healing. Healing is the actual capacity to hold pain.”
- Gabor Mate

---

“When we are training in the art of peace, we are not given any promises that, because of our noble intentions, everything will be okay. In fact, there are no promises of fruition at all. Instead, we are encouraged to simply look deeply at joy and sorrow, at laughing and crying, at hoping and fearing, at all that lives and dies. We learn that what truly heals is gratitude and tenderness.”

- Pema Chodron

---

The Gift of Deepening

 The deepest place on Earth is not a physical place, but the stillness we enter at the bottom of our pain, at the bottom of our fear and worry. The stillness we enter there opens us to a spacious state of being that some call joy. When we put down our dreams and maps of memory, precious as they are, we can feel the pulse of life. 

- By Mark Nepo

The Courage to Keep Looking (original post Feb 2022)

Don't turn away. Keep your gaze on the bandaged place. That's where the light enters you.

- Rumi

Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in.

- Leonard Cohen

---

Dear Wise Women,

One of the many gifts from our last gathering was the remembering of Rumi’s poem, “The Guest House”. Thank-you to wise woman Carolyn for bringing it up and relating it to our sharing! The Guest House is one of my favourite poems and so, after our gathering, I was quick to look it up and read (and re-read it).

At the risk of sounding melodramatic, it brought me to my knees.

The Guest House

This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.

Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.

- Rumi

Though I have read this poem numerous times over the past several years, I seemed to have overlooked, or more accurately, under-felt, the significance of the last sentence, “be grateful for whoever comes, because each has been sent as a guide from beyond”.

If you had asked me before, I would have said that I was pretty good at welcoming all the visitors and, yes, I was also grateful for them. But, in the wake of our powerful circles on the innocence of (true) gratitude and the increasing strife in our world, I noticed just how many “visitors” I am still turning away…how many cracks I am not willing to look at.

If I am really honest with myself, I can see that there is even an agenda underlying my willingness to be present and grateful to the unexpected visitors of sadness, depression, anxiety, fear, anger (to name just a few). Like so many students on this path, I must admit that I have become quite attached to the promise that if we are present enough to pause, welcome the painful sensation, and thank it, then we create space for the energy to move and the pain to dissolve. Though I believe this to be a sound practice that is rooted in deep truths, I also see its pitfalls. I see where the human ego can quickly see this process as a tool to escape discomfort rather than embracing it.

And this got me wondering…

When we rush to repair the cracks, do we also prevent the light from entering?

Is it the crack that scares us the most, or

Is it the fear of what the light might reveal?

These questions and others brought me back to the words of Matt Kahn and his insights on how gratitude develops self-worth and self-love:

Gratitude is how we develop the worthiness to both receive the light of the universe (love) and be able to give ourselves the type of nurturing attention, emotional sustenance, and personal support that perhaps other people aren't meant to give us.

This understanding of gratitude has been a complete game changer for me and it has given me the courage to begin looking at the bandaged and scared parts of myself with a new found sense of love and faith. And it is strengthening my ability to, as Matt says, “be the blessings of energetic resolve that brings positive change to what I'm seeing.”

Imagine what the world would look like if all humans had the courage to look at what is broken through the eyes of love rather than fear. Imagine the actions that would follow.

We must start with ourselves (indeed that is all we can do).

May we find the courage to see our own cracks, not as weaknesses or holes to be filled, but as doorways into our souls. May we allow the light in and may we allow it to illuminate the pathway to reclaim the self-love that we were never meant to lose.

Love,
Patti

---

Lightwork by Autumn Skye-Morrison

“It is the power in each of us.

For the true source of power lies in our hearts. 

So let your heart break.

Let it break open until you feel the power of Love surging through your whole body Let yourself be consumed and annihilated by the power of that Love

Then radiate that love out into the world, and pray for all the innocent people at the hands of the men and women disconnected from their hearts, those who seek only to have power and control over others for their own egoic sense of importance. May those innocent people be unharmed. May they be protected. May they be kept safe.

Then radiate that love out and pray for those in positions of leadership and power that are disconnected from their hearts, those who choose to harm others for their own needs and gains. May they remember who they are. May they wake up to the truth of what they are doing. May they return to Love.

Then radiate that love into yourself. Shine a light into all the places you still keep yourself separate, the places where you might feel unworthy or inadequate. The places where you feel shame and guilt. The ways in which you judge. The ways in which you withhold love from yourself and others. Shine the light there and remember that you have the power to choose Love. You are Love.

And you are holding a thread.

We are all holding a thread.

We are weaving this new world together.

May we each hold a luminous thread, iridescent and shimmering with the beauty of Love that flows from deep within our being."

- Words by Charlotte Sophia

---

Circling Back into Deeper self-acceptance - Original post from March 2023

The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.
~ Carl Rodgers

---

Dear Wise Women,

We continue our dance together.

Over the past few months, we have been weaving with the fabrics of compassion, acceptance, comparison, and expectations. It has been a gentle and slow practice, guided by unconditional love and grace. In real time, we are co-creating a never-ending tapestry that beautifully captures the many textures and colours of our unique experiences. As we continue the warp and weft on this loom we call life, I now invite you to dive a little deeper into the heart of true acceptance.

A few weeks ago, I shared a quote from Tara Brach:
”The two parts of genuine acceptance—seeing clearly and holding our experience with compassion—are as interdependent as the two wings of a great bird. Together, they enable us to fly and be free.”

Wise Women, imagine yourself as this great bird…see your wings unfolding… feel yourself soaring!

And now, free of judgement, free of fear, compassionately notice if there are any limitations or restrictions preventing you from reaching your full wing span. Is there something you are carrying? Do you feel tethered or held back in anyway?

If so, you are not alone.

With radical self-acceptance, let us remove the pebbles that weigh us down and cut the cords that limit our freedom.

Infinite love and gratitude,
Patti

---

The following are excerpts from Tara Brach’s book, “Radical Acceptance, Embracing Your Life with the Heart of a Buddha”

Radical Acceptance is not resignation
The greatest misunderstanding about Radical Acceptance is that if we simply accept ourselves as we are, we will lose our motivation to change and grow. Acceptance can be misconstrued as an excuse for persisting in bad habits. Acceptance might suggest that we resign ourselves to being exactly as we are, which often enough means “not good enough”.

Radical Acceptance does not mean defining ourselves by our limitations. It is not an excuse for withdrawal.
Radical Acceptance means bringing a clear, kind attention to our capacities and limitations without giving our fear-based stories the power to shut down our lives. Radical Acceptance also means not overlooking another important truth: the endless creativity and possibility that exist in living. By accepting the truth of change, accepting that we don’t know how our life will unfold, we open ourselves to hope so that we can move forward with vitality and will.

Radical Acceptances is not self-indulgence.
It does not say, “I accept that I have this lust or craving, and therefore I’ll act on it.” While it’s important not to deny or suppress our desires, it’s also important to be aware of what motivates us and the effects of our behavior.

Radical Acceptance does not make us passive.
There is a difference between actions and decisions that arise from Radical Acceptance and those that reflexively spring from our grasping after certain outcomes and our fear of certain consequences. Radical Acceptance acknowledges our own experience in this moment as the first step in wise action. No matter what the situation, our immediate personal experience is the fundamental domain of Radical Acceptance. This is where we cultivate the genuine wakefulness and kindness that underlie effective action

Radical Acceptance doesn’t mean accepting a “self”.
When we say, “I accept myself as I am,” we are not accepting a story about a good or bad self. Rather, we are accepting the immediate mental and sensory experiences we interpret as self. We are seeing the familiar wants and fears, the judging and planning thoughts as a part of the flow of life. Accepting them in this way actually enables us to recognize that experience is impersonal and frees us from the trap of identifying ourselves as a deficient and limited self.

In contrast to orthodox notions of climbing up a ladder seeking perfection, psychologist Carl Jung describes the spiritual path as an unfolding into wholeness. Rather than trying to vanquish waves of emotion and rid ourselves of an inherently impure self, we turn around and embrace this life in all its realness—broken, messy, mysterious and vibrantly alive. By cultivating an unconditional and accepting presence, we are no longer battling against ourselves, keeping our wild and imperfect self in a cage of judgment and mistrust. Instead, we are discovering the freedom of becoming authentic and fully alive.

---

I leave with you with one of my favourite Rumi - one I have shared several times before and one that I can never read enough....

​The Guest House

This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.

​A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.

​Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.

​The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.

​Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.

~ Rumi

The Two Birds

To know our True Selves is to breathe the consciousness of Presence into every moment and is the crux of all the teachings that I have shared and will continue to share. As you will discover, awakening to our True Selves is a continuous unfoldment and one in which we are well served with reminders and support.

I would like to re-share my favourite parable with you. This powerful parable of The Two Birds was introduced to me by my previous yoga teacher, Michelle. The metaphor of the two birds and the depth of the invitation has had a lasting impact on me. For those who received this before, I hope that, like me, it is a tale that you would benefit from hearing a thousand times over!

In “The Two Birds” Mooji brilliantly captures the essence of what it means to befriend our egos and our pain-bodies and into an awareness of our True Self.

…the last time I shared this parable in our circles was in March, 2020

THE TWO BIRDS
by Mooji

Some time ago, I saw a picture depicting a parable from the Bhagavad Gita. It showed two birds in a tree, and one of them was building a nest. This one is flying off collecting things, arranging the twigs—it’s active, doing many things.

Above this bird, on another branch, is a second bird. It looks identical to the first bird, but it’s not building anything. It is just observing. It’s not building a self-image out of its perceiving, and it’s not deeply interested in any aspect of what it sees. Its perceiving is happening quite spontaneously without effort or judgment. There’s a silence there, that feeling of Being without thought. Just looking.

This is a beautiful portrait of who we are.

These two birds are connected. The first bird represents our dynamic being, the self that is engaged in the world, in future and past, in growing. It is the aspect that is living life with the sense of my family, my children, my work, and so on. The second bird represents that conscious witnessing within us. It is the ability to observe life taking place and activities unfolding, but it is not actually doing anything. It is still within the same body, but it is not manipulating. It is not saying, “I hope this, and I fear that.” No, it is very still. It is simply there, and its seeing is panoramic. It sees not only the first bird, but also the wind in the trees, the sky—everything is observed with a kind of neutrality.

Initially the first bird is very identified with building the nest. It may not even be aware of the second bird. But as soon as it is able to be quiet, it becomes aware of the second bird, which is actually itself at a deeper inner level. When the first bird’s mind is synchronized with the second bird, the activities become much more gracious. There is a sense of a unity, a oneness. In that harmony, the work may still happen but without obsession, without fear, without the sense of needing to control things. It is simply happening because life compels this activity to happen. It is as though another power is helping the actions to take place.

The second bird represents the change of perspective from the mode of the person to the state of presence. When we are involved in the activities of life so deeply that it seems that the daily routine is all there is, then we are like this first bird, the nest builder, oblivious to our second bird position.

Come to the second bird position, to the one who is observing, and you will discover that the one who is busy building a life will slowly become more transparent, leaving only the functioning itself. The activities are happening anyway, beautifully, but the sense of doer-ship—which is the ego sense—will fade away. Activities are just happening; our self-image as a person is just happening, but our true Self is not a happening.

In fact, the TRUE SELF is a third position, which is not a bird, but the space within which both birds are arising and seen.

---

“The more you are willing to just let the world be something you’re aware of, the more it will let you be who you are – the awareness, the Self, the Soul.”
- Michael Singer, The Untethered Soul

---

As you become present and thereby total in what you do, your actions become charged with spiritual power. At first there may be no noticeable changes in what you do - only the how changes. Your primary purpose is now to enable consciousness to flow into what you do. The secondary purpose is whatever you want to achieve through the doing.”

- Eckhart Tolle, “A New Earth”

---

Our Closing Prayer

Dear Grace,

Please walk with me today.

Please whisper divine wisdom in my ears,
Please reveal magic to my eyes,
Please touch my skin with life’s vibrant energy.

Divine Grace, I am open to unconditional love and I allow this love to:

Infuse my thoughts,
Prepare my words, and
Animate my movement.

Through my own free will, so be it.

- Patti Wardlaw

---

Dancing in the Rain

Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass,
its about learning how to dance in the rain.
~ Vivian greene

Unguarded Love (Original Post October 31, 2021)

“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.”
- Anais Nin

---

Dear Wise Women,

Seven weeks ago we met in the field and set off on a path. No road map. No plan. No destination. Just a profound willingness to expand in the direction of love.

And, oh my goodness, can you believe what has transpired since then?

Oh wise women, I truly believe something magical happened back in that field. I believe that our openness, our curiosity, our innocence, our wonder, our willingness to meet one another so fully initiated some sort of alchemical reaction. I believe that we touched, and were touched by, the same magical energy that turns a caterpillar into a butterfly and coaxes a rose out of its bud. Unbeknownst to us, we received this magic… our hearts united and we agreed to open.

And in doing so, we unlocked an ancient memory. A memory of a time when our hearts only knew about pure love. A time when our hearts were unlocked and unguarded.

Whether for a fleeting second or a for a day, we remembered, and we felt the sensation of an infinitely expansive heart.

And then, as we must, we returned to the path. The human path. Where expansive hearts do not feel safe. And we (innocently) contracted.

But something is different this time - the contractions feel familiar but the path feels different. Its like we are walking the same labyrinth but it is much bigger than the last time we walked it. There is a spaciousness and an awareness around the contraction. It still hurts, we still feel frightened…but there is something else going on - there is a source of ease beneath the contraction, a river reminding us to stay open and keep flowing.

And it helps that we are not alone.

Hand in hand, we ride the waves. We support each other on our relentless quest to un-condition love and to un-earth our innocence. Piece by piece, rock by rock we notice the fortress walls relaxing… the jewel is slowly being revealed.

And eventually we come face to face with the loyal defenders of the fortress around our hearts. We come to realize that these vigilant guards, though they served us at some point, are no longer needed. We see how they are preventing us from receiving the love we want to receive, and giving the love we want to give.

And buoyed by this river, we say yes. We say YES to our deep, deep longing to experience unguarded love.

“Unguarded Love”, This title came through me as full body experience this week. Swimming in the wake of all that had been revealed over the past three weeks, it became painfully clear how much easier it is to be in the field of love with you women than with my partner, my children, my mother. I noticed my tendency to blame them for this “disconnect”. I noticed the tightness in my chest, an all to familiar feeling in our relationships. My mind almost tricked me into spiraling down the familiar loop of blame and resentment. But my heart wouldn’t allow it this time.

My heart said its time to let go of your remaining defenses.

Its time to trust that Love knows how to protect itself.

And so, bravely, slowly, and and very, very gently I am embarking on a new way of loving…

❤❤❤❤❤

No longer afraid of what they will say,

I speak the way love wants to speak.

No longer afraid of what they won’t say,

I speak the way love wants to speak.

No longer afraid of how they’ll react,

I act the way love wants to act.

No longer afraid of how they’ll feel

I touch the way love wants to touch.

One step at a time,

one word at a time,

one gesture at a time,

I explore this new way of walking in the field

unguarded.

❤❤❤❤❤

Wise women, will you embark on this new way with me?

With endless love,
Patti

---

And now a little “outside” wisdom and guidance…

“We may once have had very good reasons to guard our hearts; we had to protect ourselves from further hurt. But from the seat of awareness, there is not one good reason to continue doing so. We are not born this way. We had to learn to shut down, and by the good grace of life, we can unlearn it. We can learn to open back up to the force of love and joy that resides within us in every moment of every day.”

If you want to live a heart-minded life, the decision is yours, dear one. It begins by making the choice to take just one small step toward yourself, instead of away. Start gently blowing on the wounded and scared parts of yourself as if they were hot coals. Stoke them with encouraging words. Cocoon them in love. Genuinely care for them. They need to be coaxed into coming out from protection and they need a life raft to hold on to when traversing through the rough and choppy waters of the darkness. Most importantly, you need tender, gentle, and constant encouragement to strengthen your resolve in keeping your heart open, especially when your finely tuned instincts to protect are activated.

We must decide to excavate, to search for the tender parts of us we have abandoned and hidden away. We must look to welcome home the split-off and orphaned parts. This retrieval of the forsaken is where profound and beautiful soul making begins. Our hearts house the essence of life and source. They are the well of divinity within us, which when aligned with, awakened, and re-connected to, will eradicate and heal, forgive and dispel, and reconcile and release each hurtful relationship and memory. Our hearts are the source of our inspiration to spread and stir love and goodness throughout the world. I would go so far as to say that if each of us were to choose to live in alignment with our hearts, the world would have no choice but to find peace. The earth would thrive. How could it not?”

- Sarah Blondin, “Heart Minded, How to hold yourself and others in love”

---

Letting The Guards Go

If it were up to my mind, I wouldn’t do it.

But, for the first time in my life, my heart is louder than my mind.

I can hear it beating,

pounding,

pushing its way out of the fortress and past the guards.

I say yes to my heart

Its ok

We’re ok.

And in hearing this permission, something changes within my heart

it slows down, it stops pushing

and starts dancing with each guard

with a slight bow, a little curtsy

my heart thanks each and every guard for their devoted service

and asks them,

“What has your post been for the past 50 years, what have you been protecting me from”?

And one by one, they proudly respond:

Hurt

Rejection

Abandonment

Despair

Oh, my heart says, I guess you didn’t know…

you never really kept those things away from me

I felt them knocking the whole time

and when you fought against them, my fear of them grew stronger

and so did my belief that I needed you.

Thank-you dear guards for your devoted service

your work is done now,

I’m ready for Love to be its own protector.

- Patti Wardlaw

The River Beneath The River (Original Post October 3, 2021)

“Eternal Waters” , by Autumn Skye www.autumnskyeart.com

With the world spinning and the stomach heaving it’s easy to overlook the Shining Self. Yet it’s right here, whirling like a dervish, inviting me to release, relax, weep, disappear altogether into its subterranean womb – into Rio Abajo Rio – the great river beneath the river of the world.

- Miriam Louisa, “This Unlit Light”

---

Dear Wise Women,

We return once again to the river.

As before, the inspiration for this week’s treasure trove arrived in a series of messages and experiences both direct and indirect. Last Sunday, I opened an email from Richard Rohr entitled “Money and Soul” and was captivated by his words:

“ I’m convinced that money and soul are united on a deep level. This truth is reappearing from the deep stream of wisdom traditions after centuries of almost total splitting and separation at the conscious level. There is un río profundo, a river beneath the river. The upper stream has always been money in all its forms, beginning with trading and bartering. The deeper stream is the spiritual meaning such exchanges must have for our lives. Money and soul have never been separate in our unconscious because they are both about human exchanges, and therefore, divine exchange, too.”

Richard Rohr’s words activated something in me and and I saw an image and felt a sensation of two rivers. Words cannot fully describe what I see and feel, but I can say that the one on top is shallow, choppy and turbulent and the one beneath is deep, calm, peaceful and…surprisingly… fierce so fierce that she catches my breath, this river, she is resolute, strong, and unwavering.

Could this imagery be yet another way to access, in every moment, the vital life force of our creator?

Is it our awareness alone that allows the river beneath to flow into the river above?

Could this be the river beneath be the river the Hopi Elder’s asked us to push off into?
(Recall our deep exploration of Hopi Elder’s Prophecy in our previous session: “There is a river flowing now very fast. It is so great and swift that there are those who will be afraid. They will try to hold on to the shore. They will feel they are being torn apart and will suffer greatly. Know the river has its destination. The elders say we must let go of the shore, push off into the middle of the river, keep our eyes open, and our heads above the water.” View the entire prophecy here.)

These questions let me on a quest to explore this concept of “a river beneath the river” and was moved deeply to discover that “Rio Abajo Rio” is a name that Clarissa Pinkola Estes gives to describe the Wild Woman. I share with you a few passages to activate your awareness of the great river beneath it all.

May you allow your bones to marinate in the deep waters.

With love,
Patti

---

To embody the soul is to expand far beyond my personality, into the depths and the uniqueness of who I am. I am, you are, unique without being separate. Like all journeys, the unfolding of my individuation needs a foundation. I cannot expand, grow and evolve into the vastness of my spiritual nature, I cannot open to the presence of the divine, without this ground. I can make trips into these higher realms, I can climb up the ladder into the light and receive messages from on high. But I cannot embody this deeper intelligence, the boundless nature of this love, until I descend. Down into the body, into the feelings that live in the body, into the earth.

The part of us that I call soul loves this journey, and calls us to take each new step. Once we align ourselves with the evolutionary energy of the soul, it will call us relentlessly. This movement towards the truth of who we are, the truth of what life is, what reality is, is like a river that we enter. Clarissa Pinkola Estes calls it “the river beneath the river.” For a long time we live in the river on the surface of our lives, the river of survival, of false belonging, of all the contracts we agreed to, in order to belong. There is a current that runs much deeper and truer, and we can dive down and feel the pull of that. The river beneath the river moves to a different rhythm. It is not frantic, desperate, and full of noise. It flows and it is also full of stillness and presence. It is intelligent, loving and full of power.

- Shayla Wright,www.wideawakeheart.net

---

Always behind the actions of writing, painting, thinking, healing, doing, cooking, talking, smiling, making, is the river, the Río Abajo Río; the river under the river nourishes everything we make. In symbology, the great bodies of water express the place where life itself is thought to have originated. In the Hispanic Southwest, the river symbolizes the ability to live, truly live. It is greeted as the mother, La Madre Grande, La Mujer Grande, the Great Woman, whose waters not only run in the ditches and riverbeds but spill out of the very bodies of women themselves as their babies are born.

The Río Abajo Río, the river beneath the river, flows and flows into our lives. Some say the creative life is in ideas, some say it is in doing. It seems in most instances to be in a simple being. It is not virtuosity, although that is very fine in itself. It is the love of something, having so much love for something—whether a person, a word, an image, an idea, the land, or humanity—that all that can be done with the overflow is to create. It is not a matter of wanting to, not a singular act of will; one solely must. The creative force flows over the terrain of our psyches looking for the natural hollows, the arroyos, the channels that exist in us. We become its tributaries, its basins; we are its pools, ponds, streams, and sanctuaries. The wild creative force flows into whatever beds we have for it, those we are born with as well as those we dig with our own hands. We don’t have to fill them, we only have to build them.

Since the Wild Woman is Rio Abajo Rio, The river beneath the river, When she flows into us, we flow. If the aperture from her to us is blocked, we are blocked.

- Clarissa Pinkola Estes, “Women Who Run With the Wolves: Myths and Stories of the Wild Woman Archetype

---

---

At The River Clarion

I don’t know who God is exactly.
But I’ll tell you this.
I was sitting in the river named Clarion, on a water splashed stone
and all afternoon I listened to the voices of the river talking.
Whenever the water struck a stone it had something to say,
and the water itself, and even the mosses trailing under the water.
And slowly, very slowly, it became clear to me what they were saying.
Said the river I am part of holiness.
And I too, said the stone. And I too, whispered the moss beneath the water.

I’d been to the river before, a few times.
Don’t blame the river that nothing happened quickly.
You don’t hear such voices in an hour or a day.
You don’t hear them at all if selfhood has stuffed your ears.
And it’s difficult to hear anything anyway, through all the traffic, the ambition

- Mary Oliver

Embrace Hope...Embrace an Awakened Life on Earth (originally shared Dec 14, 2020)

“Hope is being able to see that there is light despite all the darkness.”

- Desmond Tutu

“We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope.”

- Martin Luther King Jr.

---

In Mahayana Buddhism, a bodhisattva is a person well on their way toward enlightenment who chooses to use their wisdom to help other human beings liberate themselves. On the threshold of an enlightened life, such a wisdom-being refuses to cross over, committing to wait till all beings can come and join. What moves me is the implicit truth that a bodhisattva knows that all will never come. And so, in essence, he or she embraces an awakened life on Earth. Not shaping or purifying others, but wandering authentically among the living.

- Mark Nepo

---

Last week, we considered the possibility of joy being something quite different than most of us have been taught. Rather than joy being an emotion akin to happiness, we contemplated the idea that joy is a relationship we have with our emotional body in which we allow ourselves to feel all emotional states moving through our field of experience - a conscious communion with the vibrational in which we feel the elation of being alive. As we have learned and continue to learn, we access this communion when we are willing to listen beyond the voice in our head and tune into the energy (or the music) of the present moment. When we have the courage and the will to do so, we reveal a world of wonder and awe.

Today, as we conclude our autumn session, I wish to explore Hope. Discussing hope is timely as we are now in the season of hope - the midpoint of winter, the darkest period of the solar cycle. Throughout many cultures there are tales describing this time as the birth of the archetypal Sun King - including the Christian story of Jesus’s birth - representing the hope of renewal .(Steven Farmer).

I believe that, like Joy, the real meaning of Hope has become lost for many. So much so that many spiritual teachers including Pema Chodron suggest that we abandon hope. She is not suggesting we enter despair, quite the opposite, in fact.

If we're willing to give up hope that insecurity and pain can be exterminated then we can have the courage to relax with the groundlessness of our situation. This is the first step on the path... ...if we totally experience hopelessness, giving up all hope of alternatives to the present moment, we can have a joyful relationship with our lives, an honest, direct relationship, one that no longer ignores the reality of impermanence and death.

- Pema Chodron, “When Things Fall Apart”

---

What Pema is suggesting is that we give up hope as we have come to know it, which is a wish for something other than the present moment. The invitation is to give up on this kind of hope …and embrace hope (or dream) as a state of being and not a place to arrive at.

We get so caught up in whether the dream comes true or falls away, when its purpose is to charge the circuit of life between us. I now think of dreams differently: not as individual aspirations, but more as transpersonal conduits of grace; filaments of soul that helps us find each other and illumine the world. When we can feel a dream moving through - and drop its name, even more, drop its game - it expands us with a moment of aliveness that enlights us, lightens us from within.

- Mark Nepo

---

“Hope is definitely not the same thing as optimism. It is not the conviction that something will turn out well, but the certainty that something makes sense, regardless of how it turns out.”

- Vaclav Havel, former President of Czechoslovakia and the Czech Rebublic

---

Imagine a Woman I & II
by Patricia Lynn Reilly

Imagine a woman who believes it is right and good she is a woman.

A woman who honors her experience and tells her stories.

Who refuses to carry the sins of others within her body and life.

Imagine a woman who trusts and respects herself.

A woman who listens to her needs and desires.

Who meets them with tenderness and grace.

Imagine a woman who acknowledges the past’s influence on the present.

A woman who has walked through her past.

Who has healed into the present.

Imagine a woman who authors her own life.

A woman who exerts, initiates, and moves on her own behalf.

Who refuses to surrender except to her truest self and wisest voice.

Imagine a woman who names her own gods.

A woman who imagines the divine in her image and likeness.

Who designs a personal spirituality to inform her daily life.

Imagine a woman in love with her own body.

A woman who believes her body is enough, just as it is.

Who celebrates its rhythms and cycles as an exquisite resource.

Imagine a woman who honours the body of the Goddess in her changing body.

A woman who celebrates the accumulation of her years and her wisdom.

Who refuses to use her life-energy disguising the changes in her body and life.

Imagine a woman who values the women in her life.

A woman who sits in circles of women.

Who is reminded of the truth about herself when she forgets.

Imagine yourself as this woman.

II

Imagine a woman who is interested in her own life.

A woman who embraces her life as teacher, healer, and challenge.

Who is grateful for the ordinary moments of beauty and grace.

Imagine a woman who participates in her own life.

A woman who meets each challenge with creativity.

Who takes action on her own behalf with clarity and strength.

Imagine a woman who has crafted a fully-formed solitude.

A woman who is available to herself.

Who chooses friends and lovers with the capacity to respect her solitude.

Imagine a woman who acknowledges the full range of human emotion.

A woman who expresses her feelings clearly and directly.

Who allows them to pass through her as naturally as the breath.

Imagine a woman who tells the truth.

A woman who trusts her experience of the world and expresses it.

Who refuses to defer to the perceptions, thoughts, and responses of others.

Imagine a woman who follows her creative impulses.

A woman who produces original creations.

Who refuses to colour inside someone else's lines.

Imagine a woman who has relinquished the desire for intellectual approval.

A woman who makes a powerful statement with every action she takes.

Who asserts to herself the right to reorder the world.

Imagine a woman who has grown in knowledge and love of herself.

A woman who has vowed faithfulness to her own life.

Who remains loyal to herself. Regardless.

Imagine yourself as this woman.

Relating with Gratitude (revisited)

Dear Wise Women,

On the heels of Thanksgiving weekend, and in the wake of the devastating events in the Middle East, I felt called to revisit the Energy of Gratitude, in particular, its power to dissolve fear, anger and judgement.

With a few revisions, I am resharing this Treasure Trove from June 14, 2020. The personal note I wrote (half way down this page) remains as true to me now as it did then.

I look forward to sharing and reflecting with you.

With love,

Patti

Loving fearlessly through gratitude is one of the most courageous things a human being can do.

- Oprah Winfrey

---

Marianne Willamson teaches us that there are only two emotions in life: love and fear. When we open ourselves to feeling love from a place of gratitude, something miraculous happens – fear starts to melt away. When you choose to love everything and everybody around you, you send a clear message to the universe: my love transcends fear, anger, rejection – I love even those who have hurt me, because they are the ones who need it the most. I’m thankful for every experience good or bad and for how it has shaped into the person I am today.

- Oprah Winfrey

---

Compassion and Forgiveness Open the Pathway towards Relating with Gratitude

“Judgement is fuelled by a sense of righteousness that the ego enjoys to the fullest. It likes nothing better than to feel that it is in the right. Being thankful is the opposite of being judgemental – when you are thankful for something or someone you can’t be judgemental at the same time. This fact has healing power. Stepping down from the judge’s chair brings a complete shift in attitude, even the person’s worst faults become something you wish to help with, not condemn. The next step towards compassion is to forgive. In the absence of judgement there is nothing to resent – grudges start to loosen their grip. When you forgive your awareness becomes more inclusive – it expands beyond “I”, “me” and “mine” …this is when the window of compassion opens. You empathize with the common humanity that links you to everyone else on earth. This shared sympathy deepens our humanity.

True compassion purifies the soul and reveals the deepest truth:

When you stop judging others, you stop judging yourself…
and once you get to that place, you are in the state of grace.”

- Deepak Chopra

---

---

Walking Each Other Home

All of us are One.

One consciousness…

And that is the way the world can right itself.

Start with your peace, your love, your compassion and go from there.

Love everything…everything!

Let’s all walk each other home.

- Spoken by Ram Dass in the 2018 movie “Going Home”

---

WELCOME TO OUR CIRCLE

Dear Wise Women,

My beloved mentor, Pamela Wilson begins each Satsang (sacred gathering) by saying the word “welcome” two times…followed by a little bow of her head.

I invite you to pause for a moment and really listen as I say these words:

Welcome, Welcome.

I invite you to open your heart to receive and feel the intention - more than a greeting, this is an invitation to open the heart and to receive and to feel the unifying power of this circle.

May our time together be sacred and purposeful.

May we create an authentic and safe environment to be vulnerable and be seen.

May we listen with an open heart to ourselves, to each other and to the silence.

I invite you to feel into the intention for our time together, and I ask you to make an inner commitment to yourself and to each other. This is much more than a weekly class…it is a true opportunity to co-create energetic transformation.

The work we will do together goes much deeper than meets the eye. By gathering with a common intention and a shared commitment, we activate a unifying presence. The energy of this presence extends far beyond the two hours we spend together each week and beyond the fourteen weeks of our session. The one and only prerequisite to the creation of this unifying energy is the unconditional presence of each one of us.

Deep listening is the portal to presence.

Eckhart Tolle says that when we are able to “listen to the space between the words” we hear the voice of stillness and we activate presence, or life energy. In this session, we will explore and practice the infinite ways to listen and, together, we will deepen our ability to listen with what Ram Dass calls the “ear of the heart”.

---

There's a voice that doesn't use words. Listen.

- Rumi

---

Walk with Me

Come be with me

and let’s just walk for awhile

side by side

let’s watch our feet

move upon the same earth at the same time

step by step

moment by moment

let’s listen together

to what we know is true.

We are soul.

We are infinite.

We are just walking each other home.

- Patti Wardlaw

---

Silencing the Tiger

---

“Because the mind is a hungry tiger that can never be satisfied, that which is timeless swims in and out of our hands, bringing us forward into places we wouldn’t go.”

~ Mark Nepo, “Seven Thousand Ways to Listen: Staying Close to What is Sacred”

''I had to tame him,'' he realizes. ''It was not a question of him or me, but of him and me.”
~ Life of Pi, by Yann Martel

---

“All the spiritual traditions ask us to listen, that is, to move closer to what matters through the work of being, and to quiet the noise in our mind so we can return to an unscripted moment where the glow and pulse of life can show itself. All the contemplative practices ready us for the space that is stung open when a father dies or a dream shatters or we find ourselves in exile or put upon—and there’s nothing to do except sit and be with the mystery of what is. The only way to silence the speed and noise of the tiger is to sit before the world with an open heart as our lives finally open.”

 — “The Book of Soul”, by Mark Nepo

---

“Compassion means to be with, feel with, suffer with. Classical Buddhist texts describe compassion as the quivering of the heart, a visceral tenderness in the face of suffering. In the Buddhist tradition, one who has realized the fullness of compassion and lives from compassion is called a bodhisattva. The bodhisattva’s path and teaching is that when we allow our hearts to be touched by suffering—our own or another’s—our natural compassion flowers. The bodhisattva’s aspiration is simple and powerful: “May all circumstances serve to awaken compassion.” When we are going through a divorce, afraid for our child, facing disease, facing death—whatever is happening can be a gateway to the clear and limitless compassion, which is the essence of Radical Acceptance.”

 — Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach

---

“In taking good care of yourself, you take good care of your beloved one. Self-love is the foundation for your capacity to love the other person. If you don’t take good care of yourself, if you are not happy, if you are not peaceful, you cannot make the other person happy. You cannot help the other person; you cannot lose. Your capacity for loving another person depends entirely on your capacity for loving yourself, for taking care of yourself.”

~ Thich Nhat Hanh, “Taming The Tiger Within, Mediations on Transforming Difficult Emotions:

Circling Back into Deeper self-acceptance

The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.
~ Carl Rodgers

---

Dear Wise Women,

We continue our dance together.

Over the past few months, we have been weaving with the fabrics of compassion, acceptance, comparison, and expectations. It has been a gentle and slow practice, guided by unconditional love and grace. In real time, we are co-creating a never-ending tapestry that beautifully captures the many textures and colours of our unique experiences. As we continue the warp and weft on this loom we call life, I now invite you to dive a little deeper into the heart of true acceptance.

A few weeks ago, I shared a quote from Tara Brach:
”The two parts of genuine acceptance—seeing clearly and holding our experience with compassion—are as interdependent as the two wings of a great bird. Together, they enable us to fly and be free.”

Wise Women, imagine yourself as this great bird…see your wings unfolding… feel yourself soaring!

And now, free of judgement, free of fear, compassionately notice if there are any limitations or restrictions preventing you from reaching your full wing span. Is there something you are carrying? Do you feel tethered or held back in anyway?

If so, you are not alone.

With radical self-acceptance, let us remove the pebbles that weigh us down and cut the cords that limit our freedom.

Infinite love and gratitude,
Patti

---

The following are excerpts from Tara Brach’s book, “Radical Acceptance, Embracing Your Life with the Heart of a Buddha”

Radical Acceptance is not resignation
The greatest misunderstanding about Radical Acceptance is that if we simply accept ourselves as we are, we will lose our motivation to change and grow. Acceptance can be misconstrued as an excuse for persisting in bad habits. Acceptance might suggest that we resign ourselves to being exactly as we are, which often enough means “not good enough”.

Radical Acceptance does not mean defining ourselves by our limitations. It is not an excuse for withdrawal.
Radical Acceptance means bringing a clear, kind attention to our capacities and limitations without giving our fear-based stories the power to shut down our lives. Radical Acceptance also means not overlooking another important truth: the endless creativity and possibility that exist in living. By accepting the truth of change, accepting that we don’t know how our life will unfold, we open ourselves to hope so that we can move forward with vitality and will.

Radical Acceptances is not self-indulgence.
It does not say, “I accept that I have this lust or craving, and therefore I’ll act on it.” While it’s important not to deny or suppress our desires, it’s also important to be aware of what motivates us and the effects of our behavior.

Radical Acceptance does not make us passive.
There is a difference between actions and decisions that arise from Radical Acceptance and those that reflexively spring from our grasping after certain outcomes and our fear of certain consequences. Radical Acceptance acknowledges our own experience in this moment as the first step in wise action. No matter what the situation, our immediate personal experience is the fundamental domain of Radical Acceptance. This is where we cultivate the genuine wakefulness and kindness that underlie effective action

Radical Acceptance doesn’t mean accepting a “self”.
When we say, “I accept myself as I am,” we are not accepting a story about a good or bad self. Rather, we are accepting the immediate mental and sensory experiences we interpret as self. We are seeing the familiar wants and fears, the judging and planning thoughts as a part of the flow of life. Accepting them in this way actually enables us to recognize that experience is impersonal and frees us from the trap of identifying ourselves as a deficient and limited self.

In contrast to orthodox notions of climbing up a ladder seeking perfection, psychologist Carl Jung describes the spiritual path as an unfolding into wholeness. Rather than trying to vanquish waves of emotion and rid ourselves of an inherently impure self, we turn around and embrace this life in all its realness—broken, messy, mysterious and vibrantly alive. By cultivating an unconditional and accepting presence, we are no longer battling against ourselves, keeping our wild and imperfect self in a cage of judgment and mistrust. Instead, we are discovering the freedom of becoming authentic and fully alive.

---

I leave with you with one of my favourite Rumi - one I have shared several times before and one that I can never read enough....

​The Guest House

This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.

​A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.

​Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.

​The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.

​Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.

~ Rumi

Dancing in the Rain

Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass,
its about learning how to dance in the rain.
~ Vivian greene

Dear Wise Women,

I am looking forward to BE-ing with you on March 6/7 and practicing together.

With love
Patti

Unfolding the Wings of Acceptance

As we lean into the experience of the moment—releasing our stories and gently holding our pain or desire—Radical Acceptance begins to unfold.

The two parts of genuine acceptance—seeing clearly and holding our experience with compassion—are as interdependent as the two wings of a great bird. Together, they enable us to fly and be free.

~ Tara Brach, “Radical Acceptance: Embracing your Life wtih the Heart of a Buddha”

The boundary to what we can accept is the boundary to our freedom.*
~ From “Radical Acceptance” by Tara Brach

* To understand this somewhat bold assertation, we must understand the true meaning of acceptance (hopefully my words below and our discussion will help reveal this).

---

Dear Wise Women,

Three weeks ago, I posed the question “ Could it all simply come down to Self-Compassion?” And since then we have been unpacking or, perhaps more accurately, unravelling, this surprisingly complicated question.

Last week we looked at how self-comparison not only prevents us from being compassionate to ourselves, but actually steals our joy. This week, I would like to expand on this by exploring what Tara Brach calls “the trance of unworthiness” and how the only way to liberate it is through “radical acceptance”.

We are going to watch the first three minutes of the following video together (please feel free to watch it in its entirety on your own time)…but before we do, let me share the following key points about what acceptance isn’t (as this is sometimes the best way to learn what something is):

Acceptance is NOT about:
- giving up
- giving in
- becoming passive
- inaction
- liking, wanting, choosing, or supporting whatever it is that you are accepting

Rather, “acceptance is the willingness to experience ourselves and our lives as it is.”

Last week we noticed the gripping power of three “C” words: Comparison, Conformity and Competition, this week let us feel the freedom in the “A” words: Awareness, Acceptance and Allowing.

I look forward to growing with you,

Love Patti

“When we say, “I accept myself as I am,” we are not accepting a story about a good or bad self. Rather, we are accepting the immediate mental and sensory experiences we interpret as self. We are seeing the familiar wants and fears, the judging and planning thoughts as a part of the flow of life. Accepting them in this way actually enables us to recognize that experience is impersonal and frees us from the trap of identifying ourselves as a deficient and limited self.”

~ Tara Brach

---

Self-Comparison: the Thief of Joy

“Rather than relaxing and enjoying who we are and what we’re doing,
we are comparing ourselves with an ideal and trying to make up for the difference.”

~ Tara Brach, “Radical Acceptance: Embracing Your Life with the Heart of a Buddha”

Due to the physics of how grass grows, when we peer over our fence at our neighbor’s grass, it actually does look greener, even if it is truly the same lushness as our own grass. 

~ Scott Sonenshein, “Stretch: Unlock the Power of Less -and Achieve More Than You Ever Imagined”

---

Dear Wise Women,

Thank-you, thank-you for being brave enough to continue unearthing self-compassion.

We are no longer just scratching the surface, we are diving deep…and if that feels scary for you, please acknowledge that. I am scared and I acknowledge it. It is scary to learn new ways, no matter how much we want to. We all know that is much easier to stay in the comfort zone (no matter how limiting) of our habitual patterns.

It is not easy for me to admit that comparison, conformity and competition have been ruling my life, and that I’ve been bypassing this truth for many, many years. I am not alone.

We are actually hardwired to compare, and if we really want to evolve, it now time for us to understand what it is doing to us. Without awareness of the damaging effects of self-comparison, we will never be able to access true self-compassion.

Simply put, self-comparison is toxic and is the thief of joy, and sadly, is more pervasive in our culture today than ever before thanks to social media.

As Jordan Peterson says, “If the internal voice makes you doubt the value of your endeavours, or your life, or life itself, perhaps you should stop listening.”

Wise Women, may we all trust in the sanctuary of our circle as we bravely look at self-comparison. May we be curious as to how natural it is to self-compare, and may we strive to see with a beginners mind how deeply it is affecting our lives.

Know that I see you. Please see me. Please see one another.

With love,
Patti

---

“Comparison is the crush of conformity from one side and competition from the other—it’s trying to simultaneously fit in and stand out.”

Self-comparison’s damage lies in the fact that it involves both competition and conformity. At first, this might seem counterintuitive. How can we both compete with others and strive to conform at the same time? Surely competing with others requires being different from them—specifically, being better?

But competition and conformity do co-exist, and do so very destructively. They feed into each other when you want to be the “best” in your particular social or societal group—when you want to conform to that group’s standards, and do so “better” than everyone else.

When you allow comparison, competition, and conformity to take over, you lose sight of your inherent worthiness. You begin to base your self-worth on how well you match up against others—on how well you’re conforming. You think you’ll only be worthy if you meet certain standards of behavior. This is incompatible with the unconditional self-acceptance that underpins true worthiness.

Constantly comparing yourself to and competing with those around you may also harm your connections. If you compare yourself to someone and decide that you’re “worse” than them, you might become jealous or envious. These negative feelings will erode your bond. Likewise, comparing yourself to someone else and deciding that you’re “better” than them is, at its root, a form of judgment. You’ve decided that this person is “lesser” than you. This isn’t a good foundation for a strong, equal connection—and it isn’t particularly compassionate, either.  

The bad news is that our hardwiring makes us default to comparison—it seems to happen to us rather than be our choice. The good news is that we get to choose how we’re going to let it affect us. If we don’t want this constant automatic ranking to negatively shape our lives, our relationships, and our future, we need to stay aware enough to know when it’s happening and what emotions it’s driving. My new strategy is to look at the person in the swim lane next to me, and say to myself, as if I’m talking to them, Have a great swim. That way I acknowledge the inevitable and make a conscious decision to wish them well and return to my swim. So far, it’s working pretty well.

~ Brene Brown

---

“Being human does not mean being better than others. Being human means you encompass the full range of human experience, the positive, the negative, and the neutral. Being human means you are average in many ways. Can you celebrate the experience of being alive on this planet in all your complexity and wonder?”

 ~ Kristen Neff “Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself”

Could it all simply come down to Self-Compassion?

Fulfill me, make me happy, make me feel safe, tell me who I am. The world cannot give you those things, and when you no longer have such expectations, all self created suffering comes to an end.

~ Eckhart Tolle

---

Dearest Wise Women,

Oh my dear friends, I am not sure about you, but last week’s circle, “Let Go of Expectations, Let in Creation” opened up a pretty big can of worms for me.

What really struck me is how much of my life I have spent operating in response to what others expect of me. Like so many of us, I have mistakenly equated my ability to fulfill other’s expectations with my worthiness to receive love. An innocent response to an outer reality that so often tells us, “this is what you need to do (or not do) to be safe, secure, loved and accepted…and this is what you must do (or not do) to avoid criticism, rejection, abandonment or punishment.”

I know this may sound harsh, but take a moment to consider where this may be true for you.

With compassion, ask your inner child…she will have the answers.

I asked my inner child and all I could hear was “see me, listen to me and love me”.

True Self-compassion…could this be the (only) way to unravel the messy knot of weighted expectations and dishonoured boundaries?

Let us explore, let us love…together,

Patti

p.s. In my research I curiously discovered that self-loathing appears to be a uniquely western phenomenon. The following is an excerpt from a conversation between Prema Chodron and Jack Kornfield.

---

Michael Krasny: Wasn’t the Dalai Lama quite interested to learn how much of an obstacle this kind of self-loathing is for Western students?

Jack Kornfield: Yes, Pema and I were at a conference for Western Buddhist teachers with His Holiness in Dharamsala, and Sharon Salzberg started talking about this phenomenon of self-hatred. And he kept asking the translator to clarify. He simply didn’t understand what Sharon was talking about. Then, he asked not only whether we knew what she was talking about but also if we ourselves experienced this self-hatred. And almost all the Buddhist teachers there, representing an entire generation, said yes.

It is definitely something I’ve wrestled with in my spiritual life. It’s so painful, and yet it is a place where a tremendous turning can happen. One of the instructions I’ve loved offering to people over the past decade or two is to suggest that they do a year of loving-kindness for themselves as a practice. All of a sudden, people find out how difficult it is to do that. People feel unworthy and that they shouldn’t be directing such kindness toward themselves. They cannot wish themselves happiness. So, initially, it’s very painful. But after a while it does start to change people, and it also starts to change their relationship to their lovers, their family, and their community. We do have this capacity to care for ourselves and we are worthy of it, and when we discover that, it immediately translates into generosity toward others.

Pema Chödrön: I found it quite interesting that all these teachers said it was the most prevalent thing they encountered teaching in the West, which led the Dalai Lama to conclude that there really is a basic difference between Tibetans and Western people. And now he continually says that there can’t really be compassion for other people without self-compassion.

Let Go of Expectations, Let in Creation

“To live your life without expectation - without the need for specific results - that is freedom. That is Godliness”

- Neale Donald Walsch, author of Conversations with God

---

Dear Wise Women,

Can you imagine what it would feel like to live truly free of expectations? To live free of the expectations others put onto us, free of the expectations that we put onto others…and, most of all, free from the expectations we put onto ourselves?

Even if it seems impossible to the mind, just imagine how the body would feel. Suspend the resistance of your mind, for just a moment, and give your body permission to fully let go of all expectations.

Just let them all float away.

Now turn inwards to feel the space that has opened up from this release. Notice how the space that once felt very tight, small and constricted suddenly has become light, vast and expansive.

Let yourself drop into the space. Marinate in it. And, then, take it one step further, let yourself dissolve into it.

Do not worry…you will not disappear…rather you will be found.

For you are this space. You are creation.

And in this remembering you access your fullest potential.

Let us remember together,

Love Patti

---

I release my parents from the feeling that they have failed with me.

 I release my children from the need to make me proud, so that they can write their own ways, according to their hearts.

 I release my partner from the obligation to make me feel complete. I lack nothing in myself.

 I learn with all the beings that surround me through all time.

 I thank my grandparents and ancestors who met so that today I breathe life. And I release them from the faults of the past and from the wishes they did not fulfill, aware that they did the best they could to resolve their situations, within the consciousness they had at that moment.

 I honor them, I love them, and I recognize their innocence.

 I bare my soul before their eyes and that is why they know that I do not hide or owe anything, more than being faithful to myself and my own existence walking with the wisdom of the heart.

 I am aware that I am fulfilling my life project, free of visible and invisible family loyalties that may disturb my peace and my happiness, which are my greatest responsibilities.

 I renounce the role of savior, of being the one who unites or who fulfills the expectations of others.

 And learning through LOVE, I bless my essence and my way of expressing, although there may be someone who cannot understand me.

 I understand myself, because only I lived and experienced my story; because I know myself, I know who I am, what I feel, what I do and why I do it.

 I respect and approve.

 I honor the Divinity in me and in you.

 We are free.

 ~A Traditional Náhuatl Prayer