And a woman spoke, saying
Tell us of Pain.
And he said:
Your pain is the breaking of the
shell that encloses your understanding.
Even as the stone of the fruit must break,
that its heart may stand in the sun,
So must you know pain.
- Kahlil Gibran
“ All of western medicine is built on getting rid of pain, which is not the same as healing. Healing is the actual capacity to hold pain.”
- Gabor Mate
“When we are training in the art of peace, we are not given any promises that, because of our noble intentions, everything will be okay. In fact, there are no promises of fruition at all. Instead, we are encouraged to simply look deeply at joy and sorrow, at laughing and crying, at hoping and fearing, at all that lives and dies. We learn that what truly heals is gratitude and tenderness.”
- Pema Chodron
Dear Wise Women,
I am sitting at my keyboard sifting through the numerous quotes and poems that I have gathered for this week’s Treasure Trove. Each one seems so important and I feel a need to share them all with you. At first this “need” feels like an inspiration, an impulse to create…so I go with it.
But as I try to form words, I notice that I am hitting the backspace key way more than the enter key. Frustrated by this, I pause and I close my eyes, take a few deep breaths and drop into my body. Almost immediately, I sense a frenetic energy fueling this need to share, underneath it I sense a swirling eddy and my body’s response is to kick to the shore, to grab a branch, to cling to anything that feels solid…even words.
I breathe, relax and find the courage to go deeper, to sense what is beneath the eddy. I surrender, and I eventually I feel it - beyond the stirred up sediment, past the broken tree branches, I find the stillness, the source that knows all. And I remember, that it was from this source that the title for the Treasure Trove arose.
The words “Peace Inside of Pain” arose earlier this week. They came to me later in the day on Tuesday, in the wake of the storms and destruction in BC. Within moments of their arrival, wise woman, Melanie texted me the above poem by Kahlil Gibran. A few days later, my yoga teacher shared the following poem by Mark Nepo*. In addition to both of these direct confirmations, spirit continued to send several messages and signs to follow this impulse - to invite you to journey with me to the eye of the storm and discover the peace inside of pain.
And now, the most clear message of all has arrived. There is no one path in. There is no one way. We each have a unique discovery to make.
And so it is.
I leave you with these words. May these words meet you where you are and may you feel held in the journey.
Love Patti
* UPDATE (added on Nov 23rd):
Synchronicities continue to occur. In our Monday evening circle, wise woman Laurie shared a passage by Mark Nepo that speaks directly to the concept I have attempted to capture in this treasure trove. Laurie is taking an online course with Mark Nepo and he shared the passage .”The Gift of Deepening” in his class this past Sunday morning. Laurie was very moved that she had received Mark’s message and the message of this Treasure Trove on the same day. I was also very moved by this synchronicity and by Mark’s words, so much so, that I have added his passage to the Treasure Trove - I find it even more poignant than the poem I originally chose (also by Mark). I include both here for you.
ACCEPTING THIS
Yes, it is true. I confess,
I have thought great thoughts,
and sung great songs—all of it
rehearsal for the majesty
of being held.
The dream is awakened
when thinking I love you
and life begins
when saying I love you
and joy moves like blood
when embracing others with love.
My efforts now turn
from trying to outrun suffering
to accepting love
wherever I can find it.
Stripped of causes and plans
and things to strive for,
I have discovered everything
I could need or ask for
is right here—
in flawed abundance.
We cannot eliminate hunger,
but we can feed each other.
We cannot eliminate loneliness,
but we can hold each other.
We cannot eliminate pain,
but we can live a life
of compassion.
Ultimately,
we are small living things
awakened in the stream,
not gods who carve out rivers.
Like human fish,
we’re asked to experience
meaning in the life that moves
through the gill of our heart.
There is nothing to do
and nowhere to go.
Accepting this,
we can do everything
and go anywhere.”
- By Mark Nepo, “The Way Under the Way: The Place of True Meeting”
The Gift of Deepening
The deepest place on Earth is not a physical place, but the stillness we enter at the bottom of our pain, at the bottom of our fear and worry. The stillness we enter there opens us to a spacious state of being that some call joy. When we put down our dreams and maps of memory, precious as they are, we can feel the pulse of life.
Then all we could ask for is softly between us, when too tired to deny that there’s nowhere else to go. These moments of unfiltered depth are brief. We may only experience a handful of such openings in a lifetime. But like the strong chorus of stars that watch over us, we can navigate our way through the dark by following them. I’m thinking of the time we met in our grief after losing my father and your mother. We found ourselves sitting on the edge of our sorrow like a cliff we couldn’t leave or jump from. I’m thinking of the time we felt complete for no reason after falling in the grass with our dog and the light softened all we were carrying.
It is these visitations to the deepest place on Earth that make life bearable, that draw who we are more fully into the world, that help us grow softer and stronger at the same time. No one can will these moments to open. No one can find them in the same place twice. And no one can live without them.
- By Mark Nepo